Signs

For whatever reason, I am slightly obsessed with signs here.

I have a fixation with the various versions of the “reserved seat” signs on buses/combis etc. They are all different. Of the four images (pregnant woman, mother holding child, elderly person, handicapped/injured person), the pregnant woman and the injured person tend to have their heads bowed. Are they ashamed? Are they tired? Whatever they are, they need a seat… but they’ll have to speak up to get one, since it’s not very frequently that people move voluntarily out of reserved seats on full buses. 

Portly person crosswalk!

In the mountains of Huancayo, about 8 hours from Lima, their crosswalk signs seem to be a little out of proportion, or then again, perhaps they have extraterrestrials. 

Children in Argentina apparently like to go to school; instead of sprinting across the street like Peruvian children are supposed to do, they skip.

Their moms wait with them at the bus stop. 

Their dads walk them to school. (This is the first time I’ve seen a sign like this that is clearly a man, not a woman or person-of-indeterminate-sex, walking the child to school.) 

Barranco’s signs announcing parks seem so happy and joyful (even if covered with black soot). 

Miraflores’ sign for playgrounds makes me snicker: while this essentially says, “kids’ playground”, my brain immediately translates this as, “place for infantile activities”. I can think of some other places that need that sign. 

I just like the sign that announces an official mototaxi stop. I don't know this for sure, but my guess is that Miraflores and San Isidro, two of the most affluent districts in Lima, have banned mototaxis. They are almost everywhere else in the city, and a super cheap ride when you need one. Miraflores & San Isidro's loss!

I love the signs for “pick up after your dog and put the poop in this receptacle”. I am not sure that anyone else has ever noticed them, though; we are on the constant lookout for dog poop on the sidewalks and on the grass. Simon is pretty good about finding it and pointing it out to us… and then getting really close to it to show us that he is not, indeed, touching it.

This is obviously a cattle crossing sign, which we’ve seen while traversing the Peruvian countryside… and here it is, in the heart of Miraflores, where there is zero chance of seeing a cow cross the street. It was put up one day out of the blue, which I noticed on my walk to Spanish class last September, and it’s been there for months now. I suppose it’s a joke, since it’s in front of a grilled steak restaurant. 

This one is a little annoying – it’s for a new ice cream treat from D’Onofrio, the Nestle division here. It shows two flavors for this cone: the strawberry one, “for her”; the chocolate one, “for him”. Give me a break; sexist ice cream flavors? Yet another knock against Nestle! 

Painted across the crosswalk at this busy intersection is a sign that says,  “4 out of 5 deaths that occur in traffic are pedestrians.” I actually stopped to read it while crossing the street, which was stupid move #1. But as horrifying as that statistic is, it’s not surprising, given how crazily limeños drive and how little regard is given to pedestrians.

I think this is supposed to be a woman pushing a stroller… but doesn’t it look like a vacuum cleaner? Who knew that vacuum cleaners got reserved parking spaces at McDonald’s? They should market that: “Take a break from cleaning and get a free Inca Kola!”

Follow that fish!

One of my favorite things about living in Lima is that I have no clue what I’ll see when we are out and about.


Perhaps we’ll see parrots flying around the park. Or at the running track in Barranco. Or in apartment windows. Or at artisans’ workshops.


I know we will see dressed-up dogs. To what extent they are dressed up - and for what purpose (a doggie birthday party? doggie expo? out for a walk?) - are the surprise elements. Once I saw a woman on the bus reading the paper, and the important news about how to “protect him from the cold” caught my eye.

We will most likely see women or groups of girls posing for what we call "glamour shots" against any type of background: the ocean, gym equipment, the wall in the pool's changing room.


Perhaps we will see a giant blood drop, dancing and doing tai chi with a group of women in the park, to promote a blood drive. Or wheelchairs converted into motorized tricycles to ride along the bike lane on the malecón. Toddlers "driving" their own giant battery-operated cars through the park with the car radio going full blast. 


Maybe the guy who makes keys in his tiny kiosk on the sidewalk will pause to play chess with the car repair guy next door. Or surfers will ride by on bikes with special racks above their heads for their boards. Maybe we’ll be squeezed in, on the bus, next to a surfer with his board.


Stopping at the skate park on the malecón is a normal part of a walk. Once we got to see an adorable little kid getting a lesson while wearing a Batman cape. A cape for Simon was in the back of my mind beforehand and seeing that little kid fly around moved it front and center.


Another bonus of the skate park is when there are little kids who can’t climb out of the skate bowl on their own and need help to get out. These three boys were posted at the side of the bowl to pull everyone out during a lesson.

Skateboards in traffic isn’t necessarily strange anymore, it’s now just another mode of transport. And then I saw a 30-ish dad pushing his daughter’s stroller while on his skateboard (on the sidewalk, thankfully). Nice!


That was later topped by a 20-ish guy riding down the sidewalk in his adult-sized, custom-made Big Wheel. At least he didn't have his 6-month-old child balanced on a little "seat" on the handlebars as many other adults do.

Maybe we’ll see marathon runners sprinting through the middle of an all-night open air art exhibition.

Or ceramic body parts coming out of walls as we walk down a side street.

Doors that don’t lead anywhere.

Mannequins dressed, or undressed, in interesting garb.

People using the bicycle carts to transport incredibly large loads down busy streets...

… and small trucks with incredibly large loads driving off of the sidewalk.

Sunday mornings seem to be the day for competitive runs down our street or down the malecón just behind us. So seeing large groups of people dressed in running attire, accompanied by chanting and drumming, isn’t exactly strange anymore. But one Saturday afternoon as we walked back from the malecón, we saw a large group of people, a seemingly endless flow, walking slowly down our street. As we got closer we realized they were zombies. We stopped and watched and eventually figured out that they were walking to the stadium several blocks past our apartment. A guy walked by, taking pictures. “Why is everyone dressed like zombies?” I asked him. “Why not?” he smiled. Good answer.


When we travel to the eastern edge of town, we see a fake soldier “guarding” a sand dune. Apparently this is a holdover from the Sendero Luminoso terrorist violence in the 80s-90s; once they poisoned Lima’s water supply and so now there is a very fake guard posted near the water station to deter any subsequent actions.

When we visited Huancayo, we noticed that the traditional dress for the indigenous mountain people we see sporadically in Lima (and saw more frequently in and around Cuzco) was still in full force there. Women wear their hair in two long braids and covered with a top hat, a full skirt, and warm leggings when cold. The bus stops in Huancayo celebrate this in their design: the roof is a top hat, the sides are two giant braids connected to the ground.

We went to the zoo and saw tigers, lions, zebras, giraffes, owls, monkeys, and many parrots. We saw people FEEDING AND PETTING (!!!!) animals. And we saw a ferocious kitty hanging out in someone else’s habitat.

At Parque Kennedy, it is a given that we will see dozens of cats. Sometimes they are in trees. Once we saw a kitty rescue operation, complete with a tall ladder, security guards, dozens of people gathered, calling out to the cat, and one brave soul who stood on his tiptoes on the top of the ladder and finally grabbed the cat around its neck. He brought the cat down, onlookers cheered, some people petted the cat. They finally let the cat go. It darted away from the crowd.... and promptly ran up another tree.


Mototaxis can fit three people, squeezed into the backseat.  I’ve also seen two mototaxis completely laden with mattresses on the top and on the back, with the backseat filled to the brim with pillows. Or they can transport gigantic loads of lumber, complete with protruding nails.

Vendors sell unsurprising things while walking in between cars and buses at stoplights: soda pops, snacks, newspapers. But they also sell car decals and Q-tips. Who knows when you’ll need an emergency ear cleaning?


And finally, my favorite so far... We were taking a taxi to the airport verrrrry early one morning. Ahead of us was something large that appeared to be falling out of the back of a taxi. We craned our heads to look. It was a fish. A fish!

I thought I must be too sleepy yet, since this seemed a little improbable – a fish being dragged along the highway – but our taxi driver knew what we were exclaiming at and quickly darted through traffic, positioning ourselves right behind the car so we could see it up close. Someone's ceviche special for the day? Yum... I think.

Dressed-up dogs, Peruvian style

I am finally blind enough to the dressed-up dog phenomenon that it takes a really dressed-up dog, perhaps also color-coordinated with its owner, to make me laugh and remember to tell Sam. I feel like we’ve seen it all, including a doggie birthday party for 8 tiny chihuahuas, all dressed in pink and purple dresses, complete with cake and presents. But I still have a lot to learn about the extent to which Peruvians will go to to doll up their dogs.

Case in point: Simon and I went to the park on the malecón one Sunday morning to escape church. We could see that something huge was about to happen: lots of booths were set up, a large video screen was broadcasting, there were large, cordoned off areas, people were gathering. Maybe Peru was playing in the World Cup playoff series...? I couldn’t figure out why else they would have a giant screen.

Oh, because it was the Master Dog CanFest. That screen was to broadcast all the doggie tricks! People were lined up near the sign to “make your dog a star” and one by one would take the stage to cajole their dog into doing whatever trick they do at home. All of the dogs, however, were too distracted by all the other canines and their own image on the giant screen to do much more than walk in circles or run off the stage.

The stage, complete with loud music while the dogs "performed" and a Master Dog commercial repeated 4-5 times in between each dog "trick"

I saw dogs wearing strands of pearls. Taffeta dresses with tulle. Full body sweatshirts. Overalls. Army fatigues.

Leather booties!

It's not just women who doll up their dogs... men are definitely equal participants in this craziness! 

Plaid is always a nice fashion choice, especially in fall.

You could buy your dog any number of outfits at various booths. You could purchase costumes for Halloween or whatever other opportunity exists to put dogs into princess outfits and Spiderman costumes. 

I think I'm partial to the cowboy getup, complete with holsters for my pup's pistols.

You could have your dog’s professional photo taken or portrait drawn. You could talk to someone about ways to go on adventure trips with your dog, like camping, canoeing, or hiking.

For a couple of hours, Simon and I were enthralled. While I’m hoping that this is as extravagant as it gets, I have learned my lesson and am prepared for a thousand-dog-strong parade, complete with catwalk and music. One can only hope.

Fixations

I keep a mental list of the things I find strange or funny or interestingly different here… and often I’m lucky enough to have my camera with me to document the action. 

Based on the number of photos I have, I am apparently fixated on different methods of transport, especially kids' ornate plastic bikes, especially with a tiny “child" seat at the rear so that a doll or stuffed animal can be strapped in. 

The water and gas delivery truck will also apparently deliver one of these types of bikes, too.

Bicycles are very much a part of the traffic here in Lima, mostly with these carts on the front. 

Sometimes people are lucky to have their friends drive them around. 

The carts usually have a small engine attached to them. The best, though, is when we see someone zooming through traffic on a mountain bike and realize that they have attached an engine to the bike. No picture yet of that; they move too fast for me and my camera.

People in Buenos Aires were so neat and orderly while they waited for the bus, waiting in line. The buses actually stopped to let people on and off, too, unlike Lima. What a radical concept!

We saw many motorcyclists in Argentina wearing their helmets half on their heads and half off (i.e. the part where normally they would look out of was on top of their head, and the chin guard was perched on their foreheads), or, like the guy below, were holding them while driving. I'm not sure if they were planning to put it on before they wrecked...? Then, to top that, we saw several examples of drivers holding babies as they steered their cars.

Dressed up dogs are ominpresent on walks in the parks along the malecón, and I find them kind of horrifying. However, they had mostly lost their impact due to the frequency of a dolled-up-dog sighting. I've seen dogs wearing shirt and short (or skirt) sets, knitted sweaters, barrettes and hair clips. Dogs of all sizes, not just the tiny ones pictured here. And then I saw a dog wearing a sequined tutu. 

In Buenos Aires, we didn’t see dressed up dogs, thankfully. But when we saw dogs, they were often in packs of five or six, being walked by someone talking on a cellphone. 

On to other fixations... I had read that for one town in the mountains, it was a big tradition to wear yellow for New Year’s – especially yellow underwear. That sounds fun, I thought. Too bad we aren’t going to travel near there for the holiday. Then, just before New Year’s, I was walking to the mercado and saw one of the little shops completely transformed by yellow. I stopped and looked closer. The sales counter was piled high with yellow cloth… could it be? Yes! Yellow underwear! How much? “S/2.50 to S/3.50, depending on the size.” I asked if they had it in toddler sizes too. “Of course!” What about boxers? “Here!” 

I thought that it was hilarious that the brand on the boxers, sewn prominently onto the waistband, was STRIPPER. So I bought us all yellow underwear to ring in the New Year in festive Peruvian style. Simon looks the cutest in his, of course.

 

Simon and I went to watch his friend Dieuwe’s swim class one morning and I thought it funny that everyone, even babies without hair, had to wear a swim cap. 

This ad for altitude sickness warranted a double take as we walked by. 

Speaking of sickness, I wonder who the target consumer is for this brand of hamburger. 

I love this example of multi-tasking. I can barely knit and carry on a conversation at the same time, let alone knit, walk and care for a toddler! 

And sometimes, multi-tasking means taking a nap while waiting to make the next delivery.